Let the abomniations begin!

I must say signing "the papers" on a house...FAR less climactic then I would have expected. Plus is doesn't help when they say, "well its a Friday and it SHOULD get posted by 2pm. But if it doesn't, you technically don't own the house until MONDAY so, uhm yeah we'll tell you later." By 4pm we had gotten word that we did, in fact, OWN the house and by 4:45pm I was on my home got a call from MB who was bursting to tell me something. Within about 30 seconds of learning we had closed MB sprang on the house like a waiting cheetah and had ripped up the carpet in the master bedroom. "I have surprise for you when you get to the house." Well I like surprises so this was exciting! "OK, well I'll see it when I get there," I said being all of 10 minutes away. "Do you want me to just tell you now?" This means that he is going to tell me now because he CAN'T wait so I didn't argue. "(insert long loaded pause here) Well, it's kind of an abortion (I would have used abomination in this context but hey, that's what the guy said!) but...we have wood floors in the bedroom. Actually, I think we may have wood floors in ALL the bedrooms." WOW!

So here's the thing, our new/old house, is a cute 1947 ranch with a 2 car garage and a added back den. The previous owners had built and lived in the house until about 2ish years ago when it was sold to some kid...clearly this didn't go well as we ended up with it. I will never, possibly EVER understand what these people were thinking. I suppose if I try to put myself in their shoes I can understand some of the choices they made, but you will see as I progress that a common phrase NOW spoken in our house is "What F$%# where these people thinking?!"
Any who, there was carpeting in every room but the kitchen and bathroom. All three bedrooms, living room, backroom, carpeted. This, obviously HAD to go. The first & original plan was to gut the master bedroom, put in wood floors, new insulation, dry wall, ect. adnosium because MB could do this "quickly and cheaply". Good. Great. Awesome. I just wanted a new kitchen! We knew there were wood floors in the living room and hallway but assumed we would just rip up ALL the carpet and live with, what we assumed was plywood floors in the other bedrooms. No biggy, we have no children, we only need one bedroom.

As I pulled up to the house and walked cautiously into our new home (OK this right here is the strangest sensation. It didn't really FEEL any different but it was a weird sensation know this was now ours) I turn the corner to find MB on his hands and knees attacking the floor with a flat bar, ripping up TILE(?!). So THIS was the abortion he spoke of. These PEOPLE (previous owners, weirdos) had taken it upon themselves, to plaster plastic tile OVER perfectly good wood floors with...get this, TAR! Yes TAR! The only thing I can liken this to is take a big wad of bubbalicious, chew it a few times, stick it to the sidewalk, grind it in, let it bake for a few days in the summer heat....and then try to peel it off. It was something like that. So as we continue to rip up the carpet in all of the rooms, finding BEAUTIFUL wood floors in the living room (Why? How WHO DOES THAT?!) we find to our joy...and later dismay that we do indeed have wood floors, under tile/tar mixture, in all of our bedrooms. When i sent a pictures to everyone of this weird scenario I got a text back from my realtor says "welcome to the 60s". Apparently, these PEOPLE (previous owners obvi) jumped on every new trend there ever was. This including but not limited to, plastic being the revolutionary new material of the 60's (its great! its wonderful!l it's the answer to everything! Put it on your counters, your floors, your dogs its suuuppper!) and carpet being the best thing since sliced wonder bread during the 80s.

Now, Here is an important fact you should note about me: I grew up in a log house. Yes, fascinating I know, but this is VERY useful information for the rest of this blog. Think about it, I grew up surrounded by LOGS. Brown logs. Heck my aunt & uncle not only own a log home as well but my uncle is a frickin log home realtor! and my grandparents? Well by the time I knew them and they were living at 'camp'....they lived in a log home too! We had wood floors (I thought everyone did!), we didn't paint things, we didn't have siding, we didn't have drywall or horsehair plaster or WALLS we had LOGS! These are all strange new bizarre ideas to me. You will begin to understand that I've got an awful lot of enthusiasm and skills and I'm a fast, eager learner...but all those things, do not experience make.

I learned how to rip up carpet easy enough but after weekend number one, down on my hands and knees, scrapper in hand, I learned this is not the right way to break a girl into a new house! MB and I worked a whole day scrapping the floors, the plan being to sand them. The tile had all been ripped up, they needed to be scrapped once, then slathered with chemicals in sections, and scrapped again. After one day I couldn't handle it anymore. I mean I can do hard work but this was mental breakdown hard and frustrating. You scrap and you scrap and get all excited and you sit up and realize you have been so damn close to the floor that that big chunk you got up...is really itty bitty tiny. My hands were bruised, swollen, bloody and beaten...and I only did it for a day. MB had HOLES in his hands from blisters. I draw the line there. We quickly learned that many people, when faced with this nonsense, simply rip up the floors and apply new ones or refloor over them. Not us. Ohhh no! We saved a TON of money but god was it a battle.

I was prepared for this. It took, all told 2 months before MB FINISHED the floors as other projects were going on but to say that little detail put our timeline slightly off is the understatement of the century. I was prepared for this. I knew. I knew there were always going to be stupid little side projects that get in the way that must be done before you can take the next step but this was far more than I had expected.